TW: Loss
Today we lost our beautiful baby girl. I can’t even believe I’m typing this. She was three. Rabbits are so fragile, man. We were at the vet nine days before she passed and everything was fine. I noticed her being sluggish and not acting like herself and immediately brought her to emergency care. She did okay for a couple hours and it actually looked like she could make a full recovery after some nutrition and fluids. We were cautiously optimistic. I was in the emergency room talking to the vet about next steps and she just… coded. She was so tired. She didn’t show me any symptoms until it was too late. She was her regular self up until the day we brought her in to emergency care. She was eating and pooping and peeing. She was begging for me to pick her up. It was so fast.
I am devastated. She was everything to me. I would have taken her to every vet in the city, paid any amount in medical care to keep her happy and comfortable, but she just needed to go. She really completed our family of two humans and two bunnies. I feel horrible for her brother, who loved her to death. They were inseparable. He followed her everywhere she went. When I came home, she was at the door to tell me hello and ask to be picked up and given kisses. She loved being sung to. She loved the sunny spot on the rug in the bedroom in the morning. She LOVED to be under the covers with you. She taught her brother how to walk on hardwood floors and how to enjoy eating hay.
I don’t know what to do or say. This is the first pet I have lost as an adult. The first pet I have lost who was *mine* and no one else’s. I feel so guilty for not noticing sooner that she was in pain. I know she was hiding it from me and that bunnies are good at pretending to be ok, but I just thought we had more time. She was eating. She was pooping. She was flopping and chasing her brother around. Never in the world would I have imagined that she would pass yesterday. I knew she was sick. We had another vet appointment scheduled. I knew she didn’t feel well, but I was advised to do critical care at home and follow up with her regular vet. She had the follow up appointment scheduled for two days from now. I didn’t know she was dying. I am inconsolable. I feel guilty. I feel like a bad mother. I miss her so much. I know I gave her tons of care and took her to tons of doctors, but I still feel like I failed her. She was my soulbunny. I am just fucking devastated and I needed to talk about it. Thank you for reading this. Her name was Daphne. Please sing your baby a song from me and give them a huge hug and a tiny piece of apple, which was her favorite.
by Joebidensvalium