So about a month and a half ago, my sweet Tramp lost Lady, his bun wife of nearly a decade. He was struggling, looked sad and bored and slept most of the time. So about 2.5 weeks ago, we got Topaz to keep him company (head canon she is his and Lady’s daughter, she looks like Lady but acts like him and is 4 while he’s 9.5)
We had assistance from a professional binder, which I would recommend to ANYONE and by day 4, they were able to spend an entire day in a pen, no fighting, just cuddles and Tramp giving Topaz kisses. Since then we’ve only had a VERY tiny handful of skirmishes, usually Tramp gets a wild hair up his ass, wants to fight then gets bored and tries to get kisses from Topaz.
Since then, there have been some BEAUTIFUL moments. Tramp has started to binky again, not often but once a day at least for the past week and a half. Topaz grooms him now, not as often as he’d like and she often rejects him, which like…he looks visibly defeated when that happens, Lady used to groom him all the time. They still snuggle, not as often as when they were in the smaller pen, but I feel bad keeping them in a pen when Tramp is used to being free roam. We’ve tried putting oats and banana on his head but it doesn’t inspire Topaz to groom him. Yesterday he started thumping and consisted humping her but walked away when she started to do zoomies like she was annoying him. And a lot of the time, he’s back to just laying around while she explores.
I don’t know how much of her lack of affection is just her or if it’s the fact that she was only 6 weeks spayed when we got her and hormones are still working their way out of her (she still occasionally poops outside of the litter box so I’m sure some of this is at play). And I’m not sure how much of his moping is missing Lady, how much of it is his age and how much of it is the fact that he’s arthritic af (he’s medicated for it, but the boy used to play SO hard, he’s abusive to his own body, I swear). I’ve also seen a lot less cuddling the past couple days.
So I guess like…how do I know if they like each other or just tolerate each other? Is there anything I can do to encourage Topaz to groom him more or is this just something she needs to do on her own/might do more after 12 weeks when the spay is fully out of her system?
It made me sad yesterday when Tramp wanted to fight over Topaz doing zoomies, cuz like…I don’t want him to dull HER spark, in fact, I want to bring his back, he used to be SO playful and lively and silly when Lady was alive. I know we’ve had INSANE success for the skirmishes to be done after 2.5 weeks and I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I just want my boy to get the joy and love he deserves.
by samsam4short