I can’t even breathe i can’t even realize what happened i just want to throw up i just learnt that like ten minutes ago i feel like i gave him such a shitty life and i will never forgive myself and i’m posting here instead of doing i dont even know what im supposed to do. I know how stupid i sound but goddamn he was my everything and i was just so selfish and every night during the past four years i prayed for him not to die and i even developed ocd bc of this shit and i knew this would happen but i didn’t do anything but fucking pray when i shouldve spent so much more time with him i hate myself so much everything feel so empty now i don’t even know why im posting this i feel sick i’m so disgusted of myself i hate myself so much
by Dear_Lab_6449
31 Comments
I’m so sorry for your loss. How did he die ?
My bun died this weekend. I’m heartbroken, as well. If you need to talk my DMs are open. ❤️
hey, i’m really sorry. try to just breathe and sit with it; guilt is part of grief, but it doesn’t mean you failed him. you gave him years of comfort and love that’s what matters
This might be your ocd talking. Please get help from your loved ones because god knows how close i got to killing myself because of my ocd guilt. Its no joke. Do you want to talk about what are the things you would do better now? What would made you feel better?
Bunnies are incredibly fragile creatures who hide what’s wrong until it’s too late. I can tell that you love your bun very much and did the best that you could.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, little one.
Jeez take it easy. Rabbits have evolved to die super easily. They can literally be scared to death. Also they don’t show anytging is wrong much of the time. The way you’re beating up on yourself makes me think you have a deeper issue at the root of this. I’m sorry I know it sucks one of my rabbits mysteriously died a couple weeks ago but don’t put it so much on yourself.
Mine died last week, just picked up his ashes yesterday. I feel like i couldve given him a better life too. Sorry for your loss <3
I went through this…found my bunny on his side dying randomly and he had no issues before this. I will never get over it honestly. Why do you feel like you treated him bad? It sounds like you really loved him. I’m so sorry.
I literally just poured my heart out to another grieving bunny parent experiencing loss so I don’t have the capacity to say much in the comments atm. Ours left us a month ago. If you need any advice or even just want to vent, please spam my DMs. I *will* respond. Just know it’s natural to be completely devastated – you are not alone.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Listen. We aren’t perfect. We make mistakes.
But its NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
You’re grieving right now. If you’re in school, see a counselor.
Sending hugs 💜💜💜
Bunnies are fragile creatures. They hide their illnesses often until its too late.
Please don’t be hard on yourself. Just looking at the photo you posted, I see a contented bun. Last month, I lost my doe to kidney failure. It still hurts but she lives on in my heart. As will your bun live on in your heart. 🤍
I’m so sorry. This is such a horrible pain. And it is so valid and a love of a bunny is priceless… please message me if you need any support. I am feeling your pain… but please hold and pet him… he is still here with you in some capacity. I understand this OCD and it is all so real. I’m so sorry. Please just know this was not your fault 💗💗💗💗💗
Hey I’m so sorry for your loss! Just know your bunny loved you and wouldn’t want you treating yourself this way. Take a little time, process but realize you gave that bunny a far better life than many have. You deserve to give yourself some grace. I feel like when a pet dies we always believe we could have done this or that more or better or often but in reality we did the best we could at the time. Take care, hugs and talk. 💗💗💗
i’m so sorry
> i was just so selfish and every night during the past four years i prayed for him not to die
Did you take him to a vet?
I feel you, this year I had 4 parrots die randomly (all months apart) and I was nearly paranoid with making sure they had everything they needed and we didn’t use anything toxic around them. Took my remaining one to the vet to get him checked out and they accidentally killed him..
As others have said buns are fragile little things sometimes, and you often won’t notice anything wrong until it is too late. Nature has designed them that way.
I can almost guarantee that as you are a)a member of this sub and b)clearly very upset at his passing, that your bun had a much better life than unfortunately a lot of rabbits out there that are locked in hutches and forgotten about. Go a bit easier on yourself ❤️
Aww, he’s so cute. Bunnies are known for not living as long as other kinds of pets like cats or dogs.
So many people abandoned domesticated bunnies and expect them to be able to survive on their own in the wild, so I doubt you gave your bunny a shitty life. Every life ends eventually.
I struggle with ocd too and blaming myself for things that weren’t in my control. It can definitely be hell.
Its okay I am sending prayers to you!!
The comments about you feeling like you didn’t do your best because you were young are making my heart hurt. You did the best you knew how to and that’s all anyone can ask. I’m so sorry this has happened to you but you must be kinder to yourself and remember YOU DID THE BEST YOU KNEW HOW! everyone is just trying their best 💖
Hi. I’ve read some of your comments. I was not a good pet owner to some of my pets when I was younger. I had undiagnosed narcolepsy for 11 years. It caused me to make decisions from a place of overwhelm and exhaustion.
I carried a lot of guilt for it. Until one day I realized… it didn’t change anything to feel guilty. It didn’t benefit them and it certainly didn’t benefit me, so I decided to let it go.
In the time since I took care of a dog that wasn’t mine for three years. And now I’ve been taking care of a bun that isn’t mine for years.
If you are not happy with the way you handled this, get clear about what you would do differently next time. Your answers will reveal if you have “learned the lesson” or if you will end up repeating it again.
From the cradle to the grave you are the only constant in your life. Be on your own side.
I’m so sorry for what you are going though. Unfortunately I can relate. I had a wonderful bunny growing up that in hindsight I was way too young to take care of well enough and only got my shit together and improved in the last few years of her life when I turned about 15. She is everything to me and I feel guilty but I also know that if I had her now, as an adult with my own rules and my maturity now, things would be different.
They had recently flushed the water pipes in my house and I didnt notice when I gave her water, so I blamed myself for a long time fixating on that, but after a lot and I mean a lot of reassurance googling it seemed like that was unlikely to have caused it.
I am not a Journaling person but I journaled for a year and a half after every day (I also have OCD) and that allowed me to get all of my feelings out. I got memorial things of her everywhere so I can keep her with me in a way (will also be getting a tattoo one day, and hope to foster bunnies in her memory when I am in the right space, to give back). I also pray every night that she is happy in Heaven, that I’m sorry for not being better and that God let her know how much I love her. I still have dreams about her and that gives me peace as I still see her in a way. Not really any advice and I don’t really like to be that raw about it, but as I said I super relate to you rn. It sucks. My baby died over a decade ago and was pretty old and it still sucks but your heart grows and keeps that space of love for them so you heal. This is the hardest part right now and even if you feel like you don’t deserve it, your bunny loves you. That’s why animals are so awesome. And you obviously love your bun.
Also buns don’t tell you when they are sick. Mine did but the vet didn’t really have much to offer and was going to discharge us and send her home with some care instructions when she seized and died.
Not sure if any of this helped, I hope it did, but this is something super specific that I went through as well and my biggest regret of not being better, but like me, you were/ are? A kid and we can’t really hold ourselves to adult standards when we were like 8 and didn’t have critical thinking skills yet. And OCD on top of everything is just extracts beating yourself up.
I am sorry for your loss and hopefully my bunny will greet yours in Heaven for you. ♡
Sending love and hugs. I felt the same way when my baby girl died. I was sick to my stomach and I had a full blown panic attack. I couldn’t even speak and when I opened my mouth, only screams came out. I held onto her body until she wasn’t soft anymore. I felt guilt and hurt and it felt so incredibly painful.
I promise, the feelings will pass, right now, hold him if you can, if not, feel the feelings and see if someone will go out to a movie or something with you. You might cry through the movie but that really helped me. Just putting a show on and being with someone or talking to someone, online even, helps. I was 18 when she died and I’m 34 now so I know you will be okay eventually even though it feels like the worst thing in the whole fucking world.
You are not alone and I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. ❤️❤️
I’m sorry you lost your bun. I still cry every time I hear a random thump.
The bun I looked after died. It’s horrific such precious and fragile creatures die, and die silently. Please spend time writing down your memories of them, what they did, what you did together. It is inevitable they will die before us; if they die after us, we cannot memorialise them. They gave you the most important gift of all, the knowledge of life and death. Thank them for it, memorialise their life, and move through the rest of your life knowing the impact we all have – no matter how small, quiet and gentle – on those around us.
Hey… Hey. Listen… You need to take a breath… You sound like you’re spiralling, and I’m getting worried
For such small creatures, their loss leaves a big hole in our hearts. Please give yourself some grace. Grief is a mind fuck. Sending virtual hugs.
I’m sorry for your loss. Unfortunately rabbits can be very fragile creatures. You can do everything right and still have them pass away from something. It doesn’t help that they will hide that they’re sick until they can’t and by then it’s often too late. One of my rabbits was lethargic and breathing odd out of nowhere one evening and then didn’t even make it to the vet the next day. Based on your picture, your rabbit didn’t look mistreated so please don’t beat yourself up so much, this is not your fault.
PLEASE talk to your therapist. OCD is nasty when it comes to grief. I lost two of my pets recently and it was a punch to the gut. My gecko to stuck shed (and my cat to old age) it was so unexpected. I was thinking of anything I could’ve possibly done differently.
It’s so hard but it’s going to be ok. Don’t let the magical thinking overwhelm you and make sure you talk to someone trusted who can walk you through this
Being honest, it’s not uncommon for me to see posts of rabbits randomly passing. The only real way to know would be an autopsy, but it could’ve been so many things so don’t blame yourself. It terrifies me every single day.
My bf has said “even if I were to love them every second of every day, it wouldn’t feel like I gave them enough love in the end because they still deserve more than that.” They’re just so pure and we grow such an attachment, it’s going to hurt no matter what you could’ve done differently !
Bunnies are VERY fragile. They are pretty animals and hide their illnesses until they can’t anymore. This is not your fault.