Lost my bunny on Tuesday, Saturday I was busy I did a little difference in the behavior but I was not concerned, Sunday I was concerned, Monday I had to go to work so I massaged her belly, kinda harshly which made her eat a little so I thought cool GI will go away.
Monday night she is living under a chair and not moving- super concerned
Tuesday morning- I take her to the vet
A. They say pee test says high ph level and there are cells and high protein levels
B. Liver torsion is discovered and she might need surgery, they keep her for the drips and then she 2 pm she passes away from not able to breathe( she was dead I was heartbroken she I didn’t ask for much details, I was not in the right space)
C. While she was under drip I had left for work so I wasn’t their when all this happened
Today is Thursday and I still can’t cope with the guilt and everything. Only if I took her to the vets on Saturday and if I stayed at the vet and she got stressed, if I were there I would be able to console and save her.
I got her dead body to hold but after a few minutes I returned it because I couldn’t process things and didn’t know what I could do when she is not moving.
Now I am wondering if before her cremation I should see her once or wait for her ashes?
I know all this could have, should have is part of grieving but I can’t cope. My body physically hurts from all the cries and mourning.
My companion of four years, being an emotional person I can tell you this hurts more than a breakup it’s like I have physical bullets in my body
by One_Wrongdoer_5721